Your country needs YOU

We seem to be in preparation for something. Only days after Starmer was photographed on manoeuvres wearing his camouflage outfit and looking very much like a bunny rabbit on its first outing, several UK army generals have suggested that such is the dire state of the army we may need to sort out a ‘citizens’ army’ to fend off the impending invasion of Britain by Putin. We all need to go and get our camouflage gear in readiness. Well, not quite all. The Daily Mirror has helpfully listed 60 health conditions which would prevent one from being recruited, including having active piles. Diabetics are deemed useless too along with anyone with a heart condition (can you imagine BANG!!? Surpriiise!) Given the nation’s state of health it’s hard to imagine anyone being available for service. 8 million of us are on NHS waiting lists for heaven’s sake. So the government’s spokesperson has flatly denied that conscription is on the cards. What we’re seeing is just some posturing by generals who aren’t courageous enough to speak out directly about how the Tories have done so much to decimate the UK's defence forces, never mind Vlad the Bad. Anyway, it’s good to know that at least one member of the opposition is kitted out and ready for the fight, on the beaches, in the streets and on the landing fields. Give the lad a pitchfork!