Despite getting my flu jab today, I can see that I have caught a disease, which I think is probably terminal. This is an affliction which I guess is endemic amongst an older age group, and it’s called Iveseenitallbeforitisedystopia. Which is to say that the news becomes one long repetitious déja vu experience where everything gets repeated, as in the weak get weaker, the poor get poorer, earthquakes happen, politicians lie and dissemble, prices go up, scams and rip-offs continue unabated, people kill each other, parliamentary inquiries find that mistakes were made, dogs are stolen, fantastic meteor showers can be seen if you’re up at 1am but it’s always cloudy, the Sunni/Shia schism still infects world politics, Keir Starmer is still leader of the Labour Party, alcohol is not as bad for you as previously thought, it’s worse—the list goes on and on. All you have to do now is read the headline and you’ve got the whole story, because in your long life you’ve seen it all before. With age of course comes all the answers. Maybe this is why old farts are so irritating. It begs the question whether we should all vote for elderly politicians because by definition they will know best. I think there’s something in it. Vote for me and my zimmer frame, we got the tee shirt 50 years ago. And of course we can still remember Gladstone who became PM on his third outing at the age of 103. I jest of course. That’s only eight years older than our current head of state and actually I believe Gladstone was a mere 88 on his third elevation to the top job. Now, where was I . . . . .?
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