Memory Lane

Pensioners this month will be falling about in gratitude for their £10 Christmas bonuses. For some reason I thought this was introduced by Harold Wilson but a quick Google search revealed it was actually Ted Heath’s generous bribe, dating back to 1972. Had it been uprated in line with inflation it would now apparently be worth £134. That would be handy. What prompted Heath to introduce it? It’s not hard to guess, given his difficulties managing the economy and the need to inject some optimism in a key Tory voting demographic. Also in 1972 the first really big significant wave of Scottish nationalism was breaching what was then Tory dominance of Scottish politics. It was a very lively period. I was in the RAF at the time, based at Lossiemouth, and took the opportunity to go to some SNP meetings to see what all the fuss was about. Winnie Ewing was a big draw, and I recall a rally in Elgin town hall which felt very much like the scene in the 39 Steps (Hitchcock’s version) where our hero (Robert Donat) made a rousing speech (devoid of specifics) but was filled with some form of patriotic fervour. It was in Elgin that I first attended a party conference, just out of interest. You could just enter off the street. I picked up a few stickers proclaiming ‘It’s Scotland’s oil.’ Anyway, in the first 1974 general election campaign, Ted Heath did a tour of Scotland, and spent a night at the Stotfield Hotel in Lossiemouth. The very night he stopped there, we RAF types were having a leaving do for a member of our squadron and around 11pm in walked Ted, assuming (wrongly) that service personnel would all be Tory supporters. It was a memorable occasion as the Prime Minister was firmly gripped by my utterly rat-arsed colleagues for an inordinate length of time as they took what we now know are called selfies. I regret that I didn’t get such a picture myself, due to having being waylaid by many Newcastle Browns. I merely enjoyed the spectacle through a surrealist lense. I did however have the distinction of having a slash in the loo at the same time as Ted.*
 
Now, OAPs might be wondering what the £10 bonus is all about. I think it should be given a name. Two possibilities emerge. The first might be ‘The Battle of Saltley Coke Works Memorial Payment,’ commemorating the famous victory of the miners versus the Tories in early 1972 which led Heath to introduce one of his many states of emergency. I think this would have nice ring to it, and hopefully would lead many blue rinse Tory types to return their £10s to the Treasury. My second suggestion would be ‘The Accession to the EEC Celebratory Payment.’ This would celebrate Ted Heath’s signing, in January 1972 of our accession into the EEC. Such a name too would lead many a Tory to reject their £10 bonus. However, such a rejection could be blunted somewhat if the payment was increased, to say 15 Euros, payable only in Euros. I think I might plump for the latter name, speaking as a remoaner.
 
* This last bit may be a false memory, thanks to the efforts of Scottish and Newcastle Breweries Ltd.