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I visited my bank branch a few days ago, to pay in a cheque using the ATM. Yesterday I received a text from the bank asking me to fill in a survey about my experience. I would like to think that somebody at XXX Bank plc thought (at 8.42pm) that this was something worth chasing up. Let’s ask Mr Challen (of all people!) how he managed to slip that cheque (a cheque!) into the slot? Was it the right way up? Did the machine snatch the cheque with suitable panache? Did the machine decode the handwriting accurately? Did you get a prompt receipt? Was anybody looking over your shoulder (like one of our assistants)? Was your intercourse with us exceptional? Fantastic? Amazing? Fabulous? (We’re not quite sure which superlative to use, so we’ll take a leaf out of Virgin’s playbook and use them all.) Thank you for completing this survey! It will help us blend our customer experiences into the electronic synaptic structure of our impenetrable consumer satisfaction matrix, which will shortly have a massive dump. On you. Thank you again. Your custom is apprecitited/(enter code)EXIT:ENTER:Salutation signoff
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