Great news! Your energy bill's arrived!

+I’m standing as a candidate in this year’s local council elections. Much to my surprise I still find canvassing enjoyable, talking to complete strangers on their doorsteps. Some are reluctant to say anything, others are clearly taken aback by the fact that a candidate has actually called upon them. It’s not their fault of course to find this a rare event, but it’s not as if you can get around 5,000 or so people once every week. Even once a year would be pushing it. Naturally that great weapon in our old fashioned armoury, leaflets, are no substitute for the personal encounter but they do at least signify that somebody has physically been up your street. Candidates have to have leaflets, no matter what the cheerleaders of ’social media’ may say. You could run your social media campaign from Florida, but only by walking the streets can you learn what’s important. But not everyone seems totally appreciative of my activity. One guy came out of his house to hand my leaflet back, with an uncomplimentary grunt. He has at least allowed me to mark him down as ’against’ without having to ask him. Three doors later another chap, similarly distressed by the sheer force of my case crumples his leaflet up and tosses it in his wheelie bin. That took a bit of effort, he must have moved like a rapier from his sofa in order to ensure I witnessed his contempt. I guess some reaction is better than none, although I dare say if I wasn’t six foot two and half and 16 stone I may have suffered a few verbals into the bargain. This dissatisfied customer scuttled back indoors as quickly as his outraged pins could shift him.
 
+Polling evidence suggests that Johnson is creeping back ahead of Starmer in the public’s estimation, thanks to the ‘Ukraine effect.’ Our very own Boris Winston has the war he wants (is that unfair?), a foreign business which like the memory-wipe pens in Men In Black he hopes will erase our collective memory of his appalling uselessness. Right now the long delayed investigations into ‘Partygate’ don’t seem to matter. That could still change. We only need to learn of a single No. 10 party at which somebody faintly Russian attended. And that is not stretching the imagination one iota.
 
+I have just received my latest energy bill from my supplier (I didn’t choose). It could have been worse this month, but from the  1st of April I guess it really will be worse. Still, my energy company, whose name alliterates with ‘shame’ has sent me my bill headed with a photograph (below) which in the circumstances is inexplicable. What kind of numpty thinks that a picture of a young smiling woman on her mobile phone, expressing clear delight is appropriate? Is she so happy because she’s just been made bankrupt and is about to be evicted? Or is she actually a senior employee of the company looking at its latest profit figures (which are huge)? I understand of course that in ad-world, we live in the best of all possible worlds with a quick solution for everything. Candide take a bow, you’d do well on the Apprentice.

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