An opportunity missed

From your Royal Correspondent

+Well, I was almost right, re: ex-MPs maybe skipping the queue to see the Queen’s coffin in Westminster Hall making a headline. Except the headline was about current MPs by-passing the commoners. Here’s Theresa May with her hubby sliding past the coffin. Viewers of Sky News will get a glimpse of May performing her famously embarrassing curtsy, where one knee nearly touches the floor. Very touching. I hope she’s going to be a role model for Liz Thick, the next time we see our new PM curtsy to the King. Anything less obsequious may be seen as a snub.
 
+For Royal Correspondents during this interregnum there is a huge demand to fill an insatiable appetite for tidbits, to keep things moving along smoothly. Thankfully the King’s tussle with his pen whilst signing a document in Belfast yesterday (or whenever, one loses track of time, as indeed His Majesty did) came to the rescue. Top diplomats and officials will spend quite some time now deciphering what the King meant when he exclaimed ‘This stinking pen!’ and ‘God I hate this’ as he got some ink on his fingers. Kindly, he immediately passed the miscreant pen straight on to Camilla before storming out of the room. I have to say, I think the King ought to have a word with the Archbishop of Cant(erbury) before he is recorded blaspheming again. His mother wouldn’t have been so careless.
 
+So much for the modernised monarchy. People are queuing up for hours to file past the coffin, and they’re all told they must switch off their mobile phones. No selfies! I’m sure we could have got by with just a ban on selfie sticks. Surely, the moment captured by hundreds of thousands of people would have multiplied a thousand-fold around the world on Instagram and Twitter. An opportunity missed!
 
Now, it’s back to the BBC studio where we’re about to hear how many shiny buttons each Guardsman wears on his lovely red tunic.