Keir Starmer has made another of his vacuous ‘I’m a patriot’ style speeches before having to self-isolate. I wonder if the two things are related? Basically his message is 'work hard you wage slaves, and you’ll enjoy good health and youthful energy, have plenty to eat, a comfortable home and be satisfied in work and experience complete peace.' Actually, apart from the ‘work hard you wage slaves’ bit, the rest of this message comes from another source but could easily be mistaken for a Starmer speech. Except this other source also promises 'you’ll see your dead loved ones brought back to life on earth.' This other source is actually ‘Louise’ who very kindly posted to me via Royal Mail an invitation to visit the Jehovah’s Witnesses website. She goes on to say 'Many people feel the Bible’s promises for the future are too good to be true.'
A lot of people may also ask when is Starmer going to make any promises—and keep them? They will remember how he reneged on all his leadership contest pledges, such as renationalising energy and rail. If it is only a matter of time before the Tories’ taste for regicide gives Boris Johnson the old heave-ho and they replace him with somebody half-competent I fear Starmer’s schtick as the serious managerial alternative will be holed below the waterline. And I wonder when Starmer will acknowledge that e.g. pensioners don’t actually have to ‘work hard?’ Why does he consistently ignore this large, voting demographic? I’m with ‘Louise’ when she asks 'Wouldn’t you agree, we all need some encouragement at the moment?' So pull your finger out Keir and work a little harder to convince us you’re the bees’ knees. P.S. I won't be taking 'Louise's' invitation up on this occasion.
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Reading Craig Murray’s blog about his prison experience is fairly gruesome. Much of it considers the filth of the Scottish prison he was incarcerated in. The place sounds like a disgusting pit. Murray suggests that this condition is a form of corporal punishment. I think it probably is, and a form of punishment designed to dehumanise the individual, rather than ennoble them (after all, why should prisoners—criminals—ever aspire to be nobler?) Murray’s first report from his imprisonment begs a question: what would you do if you were a prison governor? Would you want your charges to reside in filth? Would you see your staff as mere lock-keepers?
My response is not necessarily going to be welcome amongst liberal minded individuals, but if such individuals ever end up in prison they may welcome the small relief it affords. I am also sure that I could be accused of being simplistic, but there you go. I base my remedy for what ailed Murray on personal experience. I joined the RAF at age 18 and spent six weeks undergoing basic training. The first thing I learnt was that the cleanliness of the accommodation was a religion, and was achieved without punishment. In fact it was an all encompassing discipline, rigorously monitored. It was in effect a way of ensuring that men from disparate backgrounds had something in common. Cleanliness couldn’t be avoided. Personally, I would say thank god. Who wants to sit on a toilet Murray described in his blog (I almost wrote bog)? Of course, Murray’s disgust at what he found in his cell tells us that his standard of cleanliness was far superior to what the prison authorities were prepared to tolerate. That tells us that said authorities are content to see inmates as akin to filth, regardless of their crimes (and Murray committed no crime). So the disciplinarian in me would ensure that all inmates had cleaning duties. They should be afforded the luxury of living in a spotless prison, cleaner than any five star London hotel. Part of their daily exercise routine would inevitably be spent polishing any brasswork that may still exist, whatever. Is this suggestion illiberal? I suggest not. It could actually be liberating, in the sense that some release from 23 hours of self-isolation in a cell might at least afford a way of escaping what I imagine might be mind-numbing boredom or worse, suicidal claustrophobia. Not every prisoner is like Craig Murray of course. Many prisoners have personal issues which are to say the least, severe. Still, my view is that an ordered day wouldn’t do any of them any harm, but only good. Far better to approach the matter with an enabling attitude than simply locking them up to serve their time. Anyway I’m not a prison governor so there won’t be a sudden rush on yellow dusters and Brasso (or the prison-safe equivalent). I can only conclude that in prison I think such a discipline would be more of a blessing than a punishment. It would be for me if my cell was spick and span and I could sit on a toilet which wasn’t ringed by years of s**t and a had a seat. An interesting start to the day for City Slickers, aka the financial masters of the universe. First big story is the news that Apple topped a valuation of $3 trillion at one point yesterday, worth more than all the FTSE 100 companies combined. This led to a look at the value of the FTSE 100, which it appears is massively underperforming against other stock markets—this according to an expert on the BBC’s Today programme is because FTSE100 investors seek quick dividend returns rather than long term growth. ‘Economic illiterates’ he called them. Then on to my favourite peddler of myths, the Daily Express, whose headline read “Brexit triumph as City tips FTSE 100 to smash record high - major vote of confidence in UK” Their story bore no relation whatsoever to any consequence of Brexit but was based purely on a handful of projections by investment analysts who thought that the market would end up higher at the end of 2022 than it was at the beginning of the year. Other analysts weren’t so sure. (This unwarranted Brexit triumphalism is stalking the land. Yesterday, former Tory minister Edwina Currie was quoted saying that one of Brexit’s triumphs was that we could now ‘show two fingers to Brussels.’ And that was it.) This is all heartening news. Even after a year of Brexit the FTSE 100 is performing at a 30% discount against continental markets. If it does even a bit of catching up, it’s unlikely to have anything to do with Brexit—more a case of buying at rock bottom prices.
An awful lot of people are signing a petition to have Tony Blair’s knighthood revoked. I won’t be joining them. To sign such a petition would imply that I think it was an undeserved honour, when actually I consider all such honours unworthy. Anyone familiar with the British honours system can hardly be unaware of its corrupt use and general bankruptcy. The Order of the British Empire?? Lloyd George Knew My Father? Maundy Gregory? Boris Johnson? As this latest list shows we still have cash for peerages. I would sign a petition to abolish the lot. But in the meantime I will just have to do my best to watch Tony Blair wearing his stockings, garters and velvet cushion hat (with ostrich feathers) and his fellow lucky duckies on their annual parade at Windsor Castle.
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