In between

My successor but one in the Morley constituency, one ‘Dame’ Andrea Jenkyns is standing for the newly created Lincolnshire mayorality for Reform UK. She was previously a Conservative (when she beat Ed Balls). In my opinion, she is bonkers, but that goes for everybody in Reform—these are people after all who have very little idea what they would actually reform if we’re talking about causes rather than effects. Anyway, she’s now accused of standing under false pretences, allegedly having no legal qualification to stand in Lincolnshire. If this turns out to be correct (she claims some sort of connection to the area) then I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised, given Reform’s woeful vetting procedures. Apparently she claims to live or work or whatever ‘between Morley and Lincolnshire.’ This reminds me that on my CV when I’m seeking an exhibition of my art somewhere here or there I should always come out with the classic claim ‘works between New York and Berlin.’ For an artist, this statement simply exudes success! Well it’s no lie. Scarborough is between New York and Berlin. And practically any other combination that would suit. Good luck Andrea. Your artwork is safe with me. You slayer of beasts you!