(23rd to 25th April)
 
I'm in London on my way to Paris and Venice (it's biennale time) and I picked up an enticing looking read - in the form of the City AM magazine, from whose cover the upper part of Keir Starmer's head peered out, in what looked like the equivalent of a 'Kilroy was 'ere' graffiti. I don't know if City AM has an agenda, but in a subtle bid to make Starmer look interesting his feature appeared alongside an article about electricity pylons and being middle aged. No competition! The pylons won. To make the point crystal clear the Starmer profile emphasised how 'boring,' 'a little short of inspiring,' 'cautious, humble, uncontroversial,' 'low voltage' he is. But in his own imagination he is 'ruthless.' Billed as an insight into his 'hopes for Britain' the article revealed very little, but maybe that's because there wasn't much to reveal. We've got the picture.
 
As a septuagenarian I feel entitled to be a grump on occasion, especially since I am, unlike many of my age, a Remoaner. So in case I haven't said this before, I see no reason, especially after Brexit, why hordes of tourists from the EU should have free access to our national art galleries and museums. I know it's always been the case that tourists from abroad have enjoyed this privilege, but why haven't we got a reciprocal arrangement? Since we haven't, it's time we charged. This would have a double benefit - it would realise some much needed revenue for our hard up institutions, and it may reduce the numbers crowding out our cultural palaces. As I write I'm on my way to Paris, where I have already forked out nearly 40 Euros for just two galleries. Perhaps Philistines should recognise culture doesn't come cheap.
 
Oh, and I bet the Louvre will be crowded, so much so that they're introducing limits on the number of visitors. A ticket charge will not suddenly turn, e.g. Tate Modern into a haunted mausoleum. A charge to get into the Louvre has done nothing to diminish the queues. Indeed, they are worse than when I was last here. And I've just read in Euronews that the Louvre’s management are proposing moving the Mona Lisa to a more visitor (i.e. selfie) friendly setting. Estimated cost: 500 million Euros. It'll be down to the Ministry of Culture to give that the go-ahead. By way of comparison Arts Council England's entire annual budget is £485 million. I can imagine the Louvre entrance ticket may have to go up.
 
Thankfully the preponderance of long, steep staircases in the Louvre confines many if not most visitors to the lower floors, so if you fancy a room full of, e.g. Camille Corots to yourself it's up the stairs you can happily go. Perhaps with a bit of training for the Olympics thrown in. Speaking of which, the Pompidou's refurbishment has been delayed until after summer so that weightlifters and shotputters can study some form. So I have made my last visit here for maybe five years - if I live that long. The main exhibition is a retrospective of Constantin Brancusi, which is not greatly to my taste. The Brancusi studio/museum adjacent to the Pompidou used to be one of the few free art places to visit in Paris. Now it has closed, and only paid-up ticket holders can get to see the exhibition. Another sign of the times.

The Pompidou like fellow contemporary art galleries also persists in showing a ‘replica’ of Duchamp’s (sic) ’Fountain’ as if the piece was really his. In fact, only the replicas, of which I believe 17 were produced in the 1950s are in existence—and are presented as the actual thing. As has been demonstrated very forcefully, it is now accepted in informed circles that ’Fountain’ was conceived by Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven. Why art galleries persist in their deceit is clear. The public generally won’t have heard of dear old Elsa. The truth might also cost them a few bob, nominally. The Pompidou's caption is almost wholly false.

But a new star has emerged on the Parisian art scene, being the conversion of the Bourse into a home for the Pinualt contemporary art museum.  Francois Pinault is not to be outdone by Guggenheim, with several bases in Art Places That Matter. One of the exhibitions there demanded attention—a group of elderly blokes, some in religious garb, sitting in electric wheelchairs moving aimlessly about. Profound and amusing at the same time. Sorry I didn’t make a note of the artist’s name, it will no doubt be on their website.

To be continued . . .  I go to Venice and meet the Pope.

A big debate took place this afternoon amongst members of Jewish Voice for Labour (JVL) over whether it should change its name—perhaps to Jewish Voice for the Left, which was the preferred alternative for some. I’m not Jewish, so am a ‘solidarity’ member of JVL—as an atheist humanist I find JVL’s contribution to left, secular political debate almost unique in its depth and tolerance. In other words, its Jewish members might be called the wrong type of Jew by the many ardent Zionists who conflate ethnicity with political ideology. In the end, a vote by a large majority decided there should be no name change, not because members are infatuated with Starmer’s dictatorship but because there is a purpose and a need for an intelligent left organisation to associate itself with and critique the party as the need arises (which it always does). In my brief contribution I pointed out that if it changed its name, i.e. to Jewish Voice of the Left (‘The’ Left or the Left?) it may wish to support independent election candidates of the left, which would result in its automatic proscription by the party, thus forcing party members to leave one or other organisation. Either way that would be a victory for the Starmeroids. It’s curious that something once called a ‘broad church’ has now become more like a bland managerial leadership cult, but as long as groups like JVL survive, the party will always have its conscience pricked. I doubt the Labour Party’s conscience has ever been pricked by the ‘57 Varieties,’ the name given to the multitude of ineffectual ‘left’ splinter groups.
 
Not unrelated to the above is today’s story that Rishi Sunak failed to back the Metropolitan Police Commissioner after it was revealed a local copper had prevented somebody who ‘obviously looked Jewish’ from attempting to cross the road near Aldwych—just as a pro-Palestinian march was passing by. The copper had politely suggested that such an act might be ‘provocative.’ I would dare to suggest that that was exactly what our observant friend was hoping for, since by pure accident the individual just turned out to be Gideon Falter, head of the ‘Campaign Against Anti-Semitism.’ Just to add a bit or irony to this story, I spotted this in the Telegraph:
 
“On the question of resignation of the Met chief, Ms Coutinho [a government minister, as if you didn’t know] said: “I think what happened was completely wrong. It’s not right that one group of people in society should be told that they can’t go around their daily lives because it might be a provocation to someone else. That’s not how equality works in this country.”
 
Recent government legislation has of course made the mere possibility of provoking somebody else a criminal offence. Clearly only certain people. It might also be noted that the pro-Palestinian rallies have been peaceful and respectful, if not to the taste of the likes of Gideon Falter, who nevertheless must be very pleased with the level of publicity he has generated (even if he didn't get beaten up by a rabid mob).

Wetter and warmer winters have long been predicted as a result of climate change. The warmer part of this equation has equally long been said by climate change sceptics to be a benefit, since more regions may be enabled to grow crops. And people of this mindset are always keen to point out that plants love Carbon Dioxide. But the plants we like don’t like drought—or flooding. UK farmers, according to reports are struggling to cope with fields that even if they aren’t actually under water are still so water-logged that they cannot be used. It was my view 15 or 20 years ago that the first casualty of climate change would be food production, and on a global scale that would inevitably lead to food protectionism. So far, this has not happened on a wide scale, but if you Google the subject you will find cases of it, where countries have limited their exports in preference to supplying domestic markets. For us in the West, this has so far had a marginal impact—since generally we can afford to pay more in constricted markets. I wonder how long this will last, and whether our current government, or indeed its presumed successor, is preparing for significant food shortages. I suspect there may be some obscure unit in Whitehall that is mulling over possibilities, but no priority will be given to the matter lest somebody is accused of scaremongering. That has been the history of the political response to climate change all along. I must add that any pending crisis will be made much worse by our dependence on ‘just in time’ supply chains. Who these days wants to expend capital on stockpiling? Unless it’s useless PPE supplied by your mates of course.

+We are repeatedly told how the Middle East sits on the precipice of some all out war, that is between Israel and Iran. How much they hate each other. The provocative attack by Israel on an Iranian consulate in Syria is the latest iteration, followed up by Iran’s attack with drones and missiles on Israel. Israel claims the consulate wasn’t one really, but merely some Iranian base. Such claims are perfunctory, designed to cloud the water. Who decides what constitutes a diplomatic mission—least of all in this territory? I asked Google which countries had condemned the Israeli attack. Someone has provided Wikipedia with an up to date list, and the absences are predictable. Now the countries which didn’t condemn the Israeli attack are demanding that Iran holds back. Wouldn’t it be nice to see some genuine, even-handed diplomacy instead? Perhaps Jerusalem will be the focus of the fulfilment of Biblical prophecy after all. Some people seem determined to make it so.
 
+Which post-war Labour politician—apart from Attlee—most comes to mind? Was it Bevin or Bevan? If we’re talking legacy there’s no contest. In that 1945 government it is Nye Bevan who will be most remembered as the creator of the NHS. Claims will be made for others, but as I write I can’t quite remember which minister was in charge of nationalising the railways or mines (I’m sure this is just an amnesiac moment). The collectivist policies of the 1945 government were made possible by the trauma and hardships of war. Well, we’ve now had 14 years of trauma and hardship under the Tories’ assault on society, so I feel inclined to ask who will be the modern day Bevan? Looking at Labour’s frontbench, from the top down there isn’t one with the passion and vision of Bevan. Who will be celebrating Wes Streeting’s legacy in 70 year’s time? Perhaps the hardships of recent years haven’t quite gripped these establishment inclined (incloned?) types. Thatcher’s anti-collectivist ideology has no end date it seems.

Ploughing through some old USBs I got in a secondhand shop recently I found a previously unpublished work by the renowned French-Irish post-modernist playwright Samuel Buckett, whose groundbreaking Waiting For Bardot shook up the literary scene many years ago. Now, thanks to technology I can bring you this short play, written it seems when Buckett was feeling very bored during the Covid lockdowns. Frankly, it’s another masterpiece.
 
Dog’s Breakfast At Biffany’s
A short play for the feeble minded by Samuel Buckett

Act one, scene one. A Cabinet Room off Whitehall

Boris: If I can whip it, anybody can whip it.
Dominic: You’re back soon. I thought I was supposed to take the lead.
Matt: And put it on
Dominic: Grrrrrrr!
Matt (snooty voce) I think he’s gone Raabid . .
Boris: Don’t get cocker!
Mickey: I’m at home listening to my stereo
Boris: I hope it’s got decent woofers. What you got on?
Mickey: Corgi and Boss.
Boris: My favourite . . Oh, yo' daddy's rich and yo' ma is good-lookin'
Pritti: He means me! Boss, I’ve been getting some stick . .
Matt: Pritti stick
Boris: Matt, down boy, sit! I said SIT! Be good and you’ll get a biccy.
Rishi: I’m in charge of the biccys
Boris: What’s that Pal?
Rishi: (barking) I’m in charge of the biccys!
Boris: Biccys? Let them chew bones. Jenrick! What are you doing here? I thought you were in your kennel?
Jenrick: Sorry boss, I’ve got two kennels
Dominic (aside) He’s a Pedigree Chump that’s what he is.
Pritti: Boss, what should we do with all these strays?
Boris: Dunno. Pack ‘em off abroad somewhere . .
Pritti: Labrador?
Grant: I’ve an idea!
Everybody: Oh no!
Grant: There’s a lot of empty Greyhounds running around America.
Boris: Grant! What have I told you? Do that outside! Has anyone got some PPE?
Matt: I haven’t.
Boris: OK. Let’s just pause for a moment and see if we can lick this problem.
Rishi: I have some ball park figures. Here! Fetch!
Boris: Who do you think you’re talking to? A pack of Petit Basset Griffon Vendeens?
Rishi: No, I just thought it would be good exercise. But only once a day of course.
Boris: Well that’s alright then, We aren’t into new tricks. Now. Let’s all do tickle tum!
Everybody: (rolling around on floor with legs and arms up and tongues hanging out, howling noises)
Boris: Now we’re getting somewhere. It’ll soon be dog’s dinner time!
Matt: Yeah, and I could do with a drink. Let’s all go down to the Dog and Duck.
Dominic: Don’t be stupid, it’s closed . .
Matt: Alright then, let’s try the Fox and Hounds!
Dominic: Get a grip Matt, we closed all the pubs, remember?
Matt: But not for everybody surely? Jenrick’ll know somewhere that’s open.
Everybody: He’s a nose for these things. He’ll be on the scent rightaway!
Pritti: Yes Jenrick, bloody well get on with it you stupid mutt you heard what I said and stop looking like a . . .
Boris: Pritti, you have my complete confidence.
Pritti: Thank you boss, I can put anybody’s tail between their legs.
Grant: I heard a whistle.
Boris: Yes, it’s our signal. We blow it all the time when our bowls need filling. And they always need filling.
Grant: Did you know I used to be in marketing? I love a great line. I read this on the web: “Whether you’re feeding a great big appetite or the most sensitive of stomachs, the right diet for your dog will make all the difference. Bright eyes, glossy coat, a wet shiny nose and what comes out of the other end shouldn’t offend - remember people, we want kickable not skiddable! Always save up to 40% when you shop for . . .”
Boris: That could be in our next manifesto.
Matt: Don’t you mean dogifesto?
Boris: You’re sacked!
Everybody: Who will notice!?
Boris: It’s walkies time!!
 
 Exuent stage Right.

​I’m afraid it was simply too hard resisting copying this bit of clickbait from my favourite source of clickbait idiocy, the Daily Express, which I feel captures what it must be like to be a supporter of Reform UK. Since no Express reader will be anywhere near young enough to be conscripted one shouldn’t doubt their sincerity, their loyalty and their patriotism!

​N.B. I suspect Express predictions of WW3 may turn out to be as accurate as their weather forecasts, which almost uniquely in the UK media are uniformly wrong.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the Labour List webinar I watched on the subject of what Labour might learn from ‘Bidenomics.’ I forgot to mention that when the panellists were asked to name a left-wing economist who inspired them, there was an embarrassed silence. Perhaps they just don’t read, least of all Stiglitz, Varoufakis or Piketty. They might not have welcomed what Thomas Piketty, author of Capital in the Twenty-First Century had to say (in an interview in this week’s New Statesman):
 
‘There is a risk that Labour once again becomes too conservative on the economy. Control of the party has been taken by what I view as conservative approaches, which simply won’t work. Given the scale of the climate crisis, as well as the various social challenges and levels of public debt, the idea that you can confront these without major transformation of the fiscal system is just wrong. If the 20th century invented the income tax system, the 21st century will have to enact a progressive wealth tax system. What the Labour Party is currently advocating is far too conservative.’ The interview concludes with ‘The only priority now is to construct a socialist alternative.’
 
Sadly, nothing is further from the Reeves/Starmer mindset, which is stuck in a thought-bog of capitalist economic tweakery masquerading as ‘radical change.’

+Former Tory minister Sir Alan Duncan is to be investigated by the party for comments he made about Tory Lords Pickles and Polak, in which it is suggested he accused them of having split loyalties—to Israel as well as to the UK. The Independent quotes a Tory party spokesperson saying that Duncan will be investigated and that could lead to his expulsion, a process which could take about ‘two weeks.’ Amazing. In the Labour Party such things usually take about two years. Ask Diane Abbott. How times have changed. I don’t recall Norman Tebbitt being investigated for his comments about which cricket team migrants to the UK might support. But Duncan’s comments were more about the lobbying power of certain pro-Israeli groups than about racism. And whatever the outcome of his ‘investigation’ Lord Pickles will remain a repellent person (in my opinion).
 
+ … . ‘it is certain that the workers of all countries likely to be drawn into the conflict must strain every nerve to prevent their governments from committing them to war. Everywhere socialists and the organised forces of labour are taking this course. Everywhere vehement protests are made against the greed and intrigues of militarists and armament-mongers. We call upon you to do the same here in Great Britain upon an even more impressive scale. Hold vast demonstrations against war in every industrial centre.’ *
 
Those were the days! Keir talking sense—Hardie that is, not Starmer. Had this call been successful, and had the First World War been avoided, it seems likely there would have been no second, no holocaust, etc. This is just supposition of course. But that route wasn’t followed, just as now calls for peace are largely ignored whilst the share price of arms manufacturers rocket. Yes, there will always be bad actors (Putin for example) but to what extent I wonder are bad actors encouraged by our inability to escape the medieval mindset of possessive aggression or our mere anticipation of it?
 
*Keir Hardie and Arthur Henderson, 1st August 1914, quoted in Not Our War, Writings Against the First World War, Ed. AW Zurbrugg, Merlin, 2014 p.138

A drone has spoken! A drone can be two things at once—both boring and deadly. Let’s see what the drone had to say, and deconflict it.
 
The reality: The Israeli Defence Force (IDF) targeted and killed seven aid workers in Gaza in a bloody, prolonged attack.
 
Drone: “We condemn this strike. There must be a full investigation and those responsible must be held to account.”
Debrief: I’m a former Director of Public Prosecutions and a human rights lawyer to boot, and I think murderers should fully investigate their own crimes.
Drone: “Humanitarian workers put their lives in danger to serve others. Their deaths are outrageous and unacceptable – and it is not the first time aid workers have come under fire in Israel’s campaign. International law must be upheld and humanitarian workers must be protected so that they can deliver the aid that is so desperately needed.”
Debrief: It may not be the first time aid workers have been targeted, but since this time three Brits were killed, I’ve sat up and taken notice. By the way, I used to be a human rights lawyer you know.
Drone: “This war must stop now. Far too many innocent people have died in this conflict and more than a million are facing starvation.”
Debrief: Oh! There’s a war going on! And I never ever suggested that it was OK for Gaza to starve by the way, that must have been an imposter. No former human rights lawyer would support starvation as a weapon of war. No sireee!
Drone: “Labour repeats our call for an immediate ceasefire, the immediate release of all hostages and full humanitarian access into Gaza.”
Debrief: I’ve been calling for a ceasefire from the very beginning, as you well remember. You do remember don’t you?
 
Bibi: “Unfortunately over the last day there was a tragic incident of an unintended strike of our forces on innocent people in the Gaza Strip.”
Debrief: It’s war. Shit happens. I care so much I’ll stop the war now. By the way, a good friend of mine used to be a human rights lawyer you know.
 
Comments in blue as reported in the Evening Standard, 3rd April 2024